Thursday, December 31, 2009


Terrible for this few days.
not only with my days.
also with him.
dont know what is wrong.
just feel something is so wrong.
i never mean anything to make you down.
but i just done it.
so sorry.
seeking an apologize from you.
everything is my fault.
im bad.useless too.
so sorry.
Really speechless when come to arguement.
because i dont wish it to happen.
keep trying to control the anger,but i just failed to do it.
at the end,just make all the misunderstanding become worse.
if only i could just stand of all these crap moment,
then i think nothing will happen.
no hurt feeling,no tears dropping.
im sorry.
its all my fault.
even though i cant figure it out,
but i know it is all mine.
im the one who create the problem.
im the one who start first.
im the one who couldnt control it.
im the one do not know how to give in.
*thats my bad,i know*

Tuesday, December 29, 2009


Happy birthday to my beloved sister!
love her much!
celebrate her birthday at mcd just now.
boring for me.
Lol long she is happy:)
hmm..i saw her msg just now.
from dad.
dad wish her don't know how many times already.
since last night,and even until now.
what the...
i'm not receiving any from him last july.
but the msg makes me to drop my tears.
"hello my dearest,happy birthday to a good girl.we love you.can't live without your you soo much!"
sweet huh?
why can't i just get the same?
lol.*think too much*
am i really that annoying to him?
don't even say a word even few weeks i don't go back.
feel like a statue with heartbeats.
so that's one of the reason why i prefer not to go back ipoh every weeks.
till when have to be like this??
the happiness i had before can't get it back?
and the hate feeling toward the uncle are become stronger and stronger.
all the happiness of my family had been burned by him!!
i'll wait for the moment i get back my family.
i do hope my dad can still walks me go through the church during my wedding.
yes. he will do that.
so,right now,
i don't have to feel any jealous toward my bro and sis.
i don't have to feel any sad of that.
because at least,
i do still have a dad.
a great dad that i ever have:)

Sunday, December 27, 2009

What a waste day..>.<

just over like that.
how sad.
Woke up at 11am.
shower my doggies
settled everything,
my lunch is ready.
prepared by mom.
miss her cook!!
plan to go parade with sis,
had been canceled at last due to some reason.
wish to go saloon.
but appointment fulled.
tomorrow closed.
have to wait next week only can cut lo.
hmm..miss darling so much!
last night sis scolded me,
because i hugged her as how i hugs you.
today of mine almost end just like that.
what a waste huh?
what is darling doing right now?

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Missing you^^

Miss darling so much ^^
i'm at ipoh now.
happy to meet my family.
but pity darling alone.
miss him much!
wanna go back kampar as soon as possible!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Give Me A Rest:)

What's wrong for these few days?
keep on arguing about something that not worth to.
don't understand why keep on with it.
but all this mess pissed me off.
i'm sorry about the past.
but i told you is because i don't want to hide anything from you.
but why just a simple thing you keep in your heart?
till each word comes out from my mouth makes you angry of me??
i don't wish it to happen also.
but it's just..happened!
i tried to control not to mind anything.
but i just can't.
i tried to be the best for you.
but seems like no chance to do so.
i canceled all the plans with them.
till they are so unhappy with me.
just only with one reason.
i just wanna be with you.
but then,i beg you please don't treat me so cool.
even some just a little simple thing that you say,
make me feel fall into the deep hole.
make my tears to roll down
and i want you to know that i really suffer to continue be like this.
izit true what people always says..
everyday meet,spend each second together,will make the heart bored of each other??
i'm doubting.
sorry if i'm not the best for you.
but i already tried to give you whatever you wish.
i listen for every single thing you hope.
even sometime i don't wish to do so.
but then,
once again,
i do all these only with a reason and nothing can replace it.
is because ''i love you''

Friday, December 18, 2009

Happy Birthday,Darling^^

Today is my darling's birthday.
A surprise party we gave him=)
Right after me and him settle our problem.
Thanks to all the friends..
Gary,pui pui,issac,yy,ling shiao,wai keong,christine and kitty.:)
Thanks for the celebration for him.
Fun just now cycling to westlake.
but pity darling have to carry me for whole long journey.
happy because i can see him smile.
*he just being emo since morning*
deep sigh~~
today is the worst day i ever had with him.
we argued.*not to say really argue*
hmm..just no mood for each other.
I'm sad that i can't even comfort him as how i wish to.
gald that he's ok now=)
happy birthday darling^^
wishing you to have a good health and stay happy.
and hope you'll like the gift that i'm going to give you:)

I love you:)

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Something went Wrong.

Something went so wrong.
no mood for everything!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Doesn't suck but still suck:)

People's mind are hard to read.
don't even say to steal the heart.
many kind of people we'll see as we see through the whole wide world.
that's sometime can be scary.
but of cause nice if meet with those can touches the heart:)
time changes,people too.
someone that you're so close to,
can even be the most dangerous one.
scary huh?
can anyone manage to deal with all this crap?
really terrible if you get into it.
*deep sigh*
don't wanna see your best friend fall into the deep hole,
i'm sure.
but nothing you can do about.right?
for those who just meet with one or two.
advice given to you:)
much more people you're going to interact with,in the future.
which is many many kind of species more.
not saying you're good in everything.
no one is perfect.but at least you try to be better.
do not point to others' attitude.
look up at yourself.
Are you well care of your own self?
that's funny when the mirror answer you
:'' ohh..haha! you're suck! ''
Doesn't suck so much,
but still suck!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Facing Failure

Right now.
feel more depressed and frustrated.
Am i doing the right thing?
Is this the best choice for me?
lost in direction.
losing in the war.
*deep sigh*
Am i just wasting of time? *so much time to waste huh?*
wasting money is my expert.
*how bad*
Really useless i am.
The brain seems still empty even though the 2nd sem almost reaches the end.
Feel sad,can't even help darling.
Worrying for his presentation for tomorrow.
the rest of them are not there to do the work together.
the best way to connect with them is to on msn.
*how hard*
I just wanna be the best for him.
Stay with him all the moments.
but i'm just too useless to be so.
feel more down when can't give any comfort to him.
do not have any courage to open up my mouth.
*Sometime a word can kill a person.*
better keep quiet unless when are needed.
sorry for being so troublesome.
i know is my bad.
is this the right direction for me,
i'm still wondering.
maybe after i put extra effort,
then only i can found the answer.
*god,please help me.*
*make him strong and guide him along the journey*
Bless me as well:):):)

lalala! :)

nothing special to blog about actually.
but my hand just feel itchy to click the blog address.
went to watch movie yesterday.
with keong daddy,pui pui,kitty and darling.
the show was quite boring but yet fun!
after movie,went yum cha with kenny and sue zhen and some of the new friends.
on the way back to kampar,
something had happened in the car.
3 of us shouted and make darling and keong daddy get shocked.
lepak at westlake after that.
till my eyes can't open freshly.
went ghany later on.
walao..don't really wish.
but what to do??
back home with darling,
fall onto the bad and ZzZzzzz..
don't care don't care.
damn tired.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Plan foR cHristmaS :)

so fast almost end 2009.
Christmas arriving in two more weeks.
As usual,
many plan comes to me too!
Having plan with the self-loving.
and also going to have gathering with the prefects team.
maybe have some plan with family as well:)
the most exciting is..
the plan with them.
We're planing to visit cameron highland=)
i'm sure the trip will be fun..hehe:)
Gonna overnight there.
so have to start saving money from now onward.
hope the gang will join.To all of them:)
First celebration going to have with darling.
he's birthday coming.
First birthday celebration we going to have together:)
how sweet ^^

love him much!

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

My Feeling:)

I don't even have any idea what to blog about.
I'm happy spending my days with my darling.
i love him much.
and i know he love me too=)
he's staying with me now.
most of time,we will be together.
sometime,i wonder whether he'll feel bored of me or not.
*hope he won't*
he always ask me why i love him.
the reason..
is..because he treat me so so so nice.
because he can accept who i am.
be with me every moment.
make me feel this tough life doesn't suck so much actually.
darling,i love you.
and i promise i'll be the best for you ya:)
I don't really care what other might think,
might feel,might say..
as long we can be together k?
i always wonder whether i can make you happy or not.
till sometime i feel very sorry to you.
still remember that evening i was crying for making you down.
but yet,glad that you still hug me and comfort me:)
and i promise that i WON'T ever leave you,ok?
hope you'll too.
happy happy happy=)
just now we went cycling around westlake!
hahaa..although you and ling shiao keep making me feel like wanna fall down:(
but still happy=)
i love you darling:)
stay happy.
thanks for your love and care toward me=)
but if you naughty,or bully me.
I'll chase you back your home.

Sunday, December 06, 2009


I'm gone mad.
Cuz i fall in love with you:)
happy to spend time with you almost every sec,min and hour.
You make me feel that i'm the happiest and luckiest person in this whole wide world=)
i've owe so much from you.
Thanks foe the care and love that you've give me=)
appreciate it much:)
i promise i'll good care of you.
And won't leave you as how you promised me too=)
Really love you so much!
thank to god for sending you to me=)

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

undescribeable happiness:)

How can i describe the happiness i'm having now?
To be with you=)
i really love you so much,
do you know that?
Thanks for trying to understand me,
respect me and love me=)
I appreciate every moments we spend together=)
My dear,
I love you.
Fun to be with always make me laugh.
Thanks for all the accompanies.
I'm so happy to know you.
From nothing,now there're something between us ^^
thanks for the cares.
Thanks for the comfort you gave last night when i'm thinking of bunny.
sorry for always make you worry about me.
Thanks for take care of me when i'm sick.
Thanks for support me to face all kind of difficulties.
Thanks for the comfort when i feel the world are turning upside down.
Dear,happy to be with you.
I feel so comfort when you hug me.
Thanks for the kisses too.
Sorry for disturb your sleep.
I know whenever i move,
you'll awake and you'll ask me am i ok.
hmm..but feel so close with you.
The small bed can make us so close to each other!
Undescribeable happiness i'm having now.
Glad that you said you'll never leave me,only i can leave you. you think i'll leave you?
you already touched my heart and even my soal.
And don't say sorry to me for not making me happy,
saying sorry for not bringing me to have fun,enjoy.
saying sorry for not taking care me well.
that's enough just to be with you:)
I'm truly feel happy with it=)
trust me.
there're plenty of time for us.
Don't worry.
I'll love you.
no matter how,no matter what=)

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Feeling of Lost

Right now,
i understand the feeling if losing something that you really love.
I'm facing the crap feeling.
Right Now!
My baby bunny left me last night.
30 of november 2009.
Not sure what the time,
but after i came back from dinner,
as usual,they'll jump here and there to welcome my return.
but i was shocked to see that only brownie jumping for me.
Not baby bunny.
i don't even figure out the reason he died.
Evening i just played with them.
and baby bunny normally scare of me,yesterday became so close to me.
when called to come,he'll come slowly and i easily to catch him too!
Baby bunny,sorry for not take good care of you.
But i really love you so much.
i starts to love you once i bought you home.
I promised myself to take good care of you both.
Now,i feel scare whenever i walk in my room.
I scare i'll see brownie sleeping,not jumping to welcome me home.
he was so lonely now,i know.
and i'm worrying that he'll leave me coz the ppl told me that,
if one died,another one will die too.
Baby bunny,
you're still a baby.
I haven't raise you up.
I still want to bathe you.feed with you.bring you home.
i was so upset that you've left me.
no one can understand.Because only me,myself can feel the lost:(
But thanks for the visit last night=)
Styler,davide,ck,gary,ling shiau,dai keong,pui pui.
and special thanks to kitty.
thanks for the comfort and the 'death board' ya=)
i'm sure bunny will love it much.
b-yian,qi xiang and betty.
thanks for the comfort.=)
Guys,thanks for helping me to bury him.
i appreciate your help.
Thanks for make my tears stop too=)
i love you all:)
baby bunny,i'll miss you.You'll stay in my heart forever.
i Love you.

Friday, November 27, 2009

I am Who I am:)

Always admire the beauty of others.
why don't i look like her?or her?or even her?
why her eyes are so beautiful,why not mine?
why her skin fairer than mine?
why her face are so sweet and cute?
why her skin free from pimples?
these all playing on my mind.
Always feel down not getting a slim body like her or her or even her.
why i can't be like them?
But here i am.
Yet,i thank god to give me a perfect humans' looks.
I have a pair of eyes,ears.A nose.
Completely healthy hand and leg.
When one want to complain about something.
Please think of others who are less than you.
I am who i am.
I love myself.
I won't complain anything.
self-acceptance are much more important!

Let's cheers:)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Sweetie Bun Bun:):):):):)

Went to watch The Christmas Carol last night.
With Ck,Styler and Davide=)
Nice show.
but a lot of shocking part.
*don't really like actually* >.<
But happy moment:)
hmm.This sunday going KL.
wanna shopping^^
Hope i got enough Money through.
went to SAD just now.
wanna donate blood.
but unfortunately.
I can't.
cuz of my illness:(
how sad.
but i really want to try oh.
hmm..pity kenny just now.
i know he's in pain.
going kl going kl.

Not bunny anymore:)

wanna change bunny to baby=)
almost the same,they'll get confuse:)
They are so cute.
My mind keep thinking of them!
my god!
no matter where i am,what i'm doing..
hmm..they're always in my mind.
love them so much!
even though they make me feel so annoying.
and my pocket money all gone just for them!
but they're so cute till make me feel wana kiss them!
gonna be a best mommy for them!
Learning how to take care of them well:)
bathe them.feed with them.
And the most important is..
understand them!=)
i believe i can.
but most of them said i'll make them suffer @@
Baby bunny,brownie..mommy love you!
Will upload their pic soon!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Bunny And Brownie:)

I'm happy.
Bunny And Brownie..
I'm having Now:)
At first,i feel so geli to touch them.
And scare they'll bite me also.
but then,i'm their Mommy what~~
so have to give them a warm and loving attention.
But i'm not a good mommy for them.
Well,on the first day i bring them home.
I dropped them on the road,and i know they get so much shock!
sorry dear:(
Then when i'm trying to clean their room,
I clipped bunny's hand.
He cried for pain:(
sorry sorry sorry.
And feel sorry to CK also.
Because trouble him to catch bunny to get in last night.
Oh morning just now.
3am after yum cha with them.
Bunny was hided behind the cupboard.
he tried hard to persuade and catch him.
pity lo~~
end up,almost 4am only done!
sorry Ck.
Just now i bring them to test and classes.
funny when kenny dropped bunny and all of us tried to catch him back.
my god.luckily gary managed to catch him=)
bring them along to seng yip.
cute! like their stupid mommy,right?
I'll be the best mommy for them:)
prove that i'm not useless.
i just love them!!

Saturday, November 21, 2009


The mood swing in between happiness and sadness.
And now,
I'm sad.
Regretted for not going back this weekend.
as how i promised them.
Why suddenly these all comes to me?
Suddenly these all stuck in.
I just trying to be fair.
I just don't want to hurt myself.
eh! you should be thankful to me.
Because of me, now only you can have a nice day with them.
do you ever realize that??excuse me.
I'm not going to lose anything,
Like i care??huh?
why i'll face this kind of problem always?
Should i be like last time?
always hurt myself instead of hurt others?
Don't mind to make myself down,
as long as others on the top?
Who are you to make me feel like this?
why after this matter happened,
i feel very down?
I'm not suppose to,right?
what the hell it is?
the wrong is you,not me.
they even knows it.
so c'mon.
Be matured.
as what benjamin and betty said.
I'm not going to rugi anything.
because i did the right thing.
if you think that i'm wrong.
get off.I don't mind,ok.
Like i care??
just don't understand why my tears will roll down just because of this matter.
may be i feel dissapointed of you.
and i was shocked of the plan you made with them.
without offering me.
i know them earlier than you do.
Still dare to show your unsatisfied emotion to me??
Whatever la.
i'm not going to do anything right now.
because you're needing me.
i know.

[zi mui men,faster come back.I need you all:) miss ya:) ]

Ya,I Don't Have To Feel Any Bad.

Just like what benjamin said,
i don't have to feel any bad or guilty.
The wrong,not me.
i just said what i'm suppose to.
And i don't say something that are hurtful.
But then,
why i feel so bad?
why i feel so sad when the thing happened like this?
why i feel regret after i did so?
Is my bad?or his?
Am i too soft?
Willing to hurt myself instead to hurt others.
But it's so unfair to myself,right?
Why i just can't stop think about it??
Everything okay,
what i suppose to do now?
Start the conversation? act like normal? keep silent for some times?
Feel bad,should i?
But that's not my fault!!
i just don't want to get hurt again and again.
Can you try to understand?
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Hate to have this kind of feeling!

Friday, November 20, 2009


I never gone with the wind
Just let it flow
let it take me where it wants to go
till you open the door there is so much more
i never seen it before
i was trying to fly
but i couldn't find any wings
but then you came along and you changed everything.
You lift my feet off the ground,you spin me around
you make me crazier and crazier
feels like i'm falling
and i'm lost in your eyes
you make me crazier crazier and crazier
i watched from a distance as you made life your own
every sky was your own kind of blue
and i wanted to know how that would feel
and you made it so real
you showed me something that i couldn't see
you opened my eyes and you made me believe
you showed me what living is for
i don't want to hide anymore..=)
you make me crazy of you.
falling for you.
love you.


Everything went wrong!
No mood..everything make me no mood.
I laugh,i smile..
but in the heart,
I'm not.
don't know the reason also.
you crazy!!
suddenly disappear suddenly come find me.
I really don't understand what you want.
Fuck! always make me confuse.
why sometime you all will say those thing that i don't like??
That's not a joke anymore,k?
I'm sorry for being like this,
but if i don't tell you,
you'll never know.
If you keep on hurt me,
i scare will lose you.
so i hope you understand=)
I do really enjoy the moments we all spend together=)
next week going kl with them.
but sorry for make a wrong price about the ktm fare.
moody moody moody!!
+.+ >_< T.T =( :(

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

To YOU:)

How are you recently?
I prefer to communicate with you through the blog.
Coz i know that you'll read it.
Hm..i understand the feeling of being lonely.
suddenly will remember the happiness and nice moments that we had together before.
It was totally sad that we got nothing to do with each other..
But nothing gonna change it also.
The feeling toward you,
already lost.
and i'm glad that the feeling i could clear it up.
You'll be alright.
Don't think too much.
I already tried not to find you,meet you.
as how you wish.
even msn,facebook and friendster i don't find you.
you are the one find me first.
So please don't hate me just because that you can't forget me.
i wanna be friend you,
but you don't want to.
Then,what can i say??
i can't read your mind.You always make me confuse.
I'm happy with my life now.
I already have someone that managed to touch my heart.
I'm happy now.
and i want to prove to you all that,
the problem not come from me,is from you all.
Now you are regretting for the mistake..Trust Them More Than Your Lover.
u understand right? So..go to find them.
You just never know how hurt i felt after you leave me!
you follow your shit friends.Now,where are them?
why don't you just find them?
I don't really want to mention the past.But i really get hurt!!
You all never know it.
im sorry if i hurt you,but i 10 times hurt more than you do.
i"m sorry.
Forget about me.
If i can do so,Why Don't you???

They Are Naughty!!

Yesterday,after PR class.
Rushing back with kenny.
Suddenly realized that one of my phone not with me.
Damn!! I rushed back to the classroom,
and unfortunately not there.
I called CK to tell him that my phone was lost.
He said not with him.
The friends are worried about me,
waited and tried to call to the phone,
no one pick it up.
I was god.My PHONE!!!!
I called CK again and again.
He said nothing,just confirm with me that not with him!!
the truth is..Gary took it and pass to ck.
hate them!! angry them!!
so bad bully me =(
Really S.H.. fellow,like what kathik said.
Very naughty..!!
what a damn day!! matter how..
i still very happy to have them as my friend=)
even though everyday bully and tease me :(
CK!! U so bad!!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Yes,i mean it:) Yes,I Do:)

When i said,
You're important to me.
i really mean it:)
When i said,
i Miss You.
i really mean it too:)
happy to be with you.
nice chatting with you:)
enjoy spending time with you:)
everything feels good with you:)
happy to hear that??
Glad that we have the feeling toward each other.
But it is too soon for us:)
hope you can understand:)
I miss you right now,
yes,i mean it.
I'm thinking of you right now,
Yes,i Do=)

Thursday, November 12, 2009

get it work!:)

Mountain of assignments waiting to be complete.
As well as presentation.
Received his message.
Its critical level.I have to put more effort,
i know.
And sorry too.
i'm seeking for your apologize.
i'm happy to be with you:)
appreciate you soo much.
Thanks for the cares and accompany:)
Love ya=)
Have to back this week.
hmm..Sad and happy too!
missing them at the same time.
felt sorry coz couldn't help sis.
bro,i'll help you but i want your reason what are you going to do with it?
mom,miss your cooks and jokes!
dad,i miss you soo much!
but you all just never know and understand.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

wait for me,times! can you? no,you can't.

what's wrong with me??
Can't even follow the schedule.
how sad:(
So fast today already sunday.
just feel like yesterday was friday.
the precious time really don't wait for me=(
plan to study and finish up the homeworks.
but all never done completely.
the thinking to withdraw are so strong in my mind.
but mom and dad will dissapointed on me then.
so no matter what i have to continue.
raining for this few days.
and always after my clothes being washed.
no mood today:(
fan about the assignments and other matters.
money not enough~~
brother want a laptop.
no money buy for you laa~~ aiyo.
miss them much!!
next week BBQ party.
hees=) but not sure whether i'll enjoy it or not >.<
headache headache headache!!
mispress the button,unsaved the point of pet society!!!
feel wanna throw the laptop away!!
hmm..surprise that you said miss me.
thought that you never find me again.
hmm..i guess you sent wrongly?izit?
hungry err...
pity me >.<
miss home.
but don't feel to go back.
but no use ar..
sooner or later they'll know about it also.
let the times to heal everything la liyana.
but feel soo touch you after received your msg.
i know you love me much.
and i love you too:)
hmm.. i miss you i miss you i miss you and i miss you also=)
see you next week.

Friday, November 06, 2009

Too Many:)

:) too many to post about.
not spend much time with them this whole week.
busy with our own thing.
i wonder why i have the bad impression and feeling toward him.
feel soo bad sometime.
but i just couldn't control it.
whenever see him,
i try to smile to him.But can't.
feel like losing her as well.
but can't do anything ler~~
she choose him,then she will losing us.
hmm..but think another way,
its so unfair,she also no choice.
another but,he not suppose to control her like that wor~~
Liyana so bad.
he still care about you leh~~
so i can't continue to hate him laa.
Ok! for my best friend.
I'll forget about the past.
and continue to be good with him!

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

weird weird=(

So weird..
why you must like this??
today ok,
tomorrow not.
Morning ice-cream,
night Kopi O..
hate leh~~
You like this will hurt people's feeling leh~~
please laa..
u ok??
worry about you=(
But nothing gonna change it,you know.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Last night post

Raining right now.
Stare out from the window.
Saw some kids playing in the rain.
i wish to join them.
don't know when is the time for me to play in the rain like them.
I'm sure it'll totally will be fun fun and fun!!
looking forward for the kl trip=)
even though the purpose is for the assignment,
but i think it will be enjoyable=)
but not sure dad will allow or not~~
Just now,
i was searching something inside the box.
saw those things that you gave me before.
20th of april 2009 is the day we break leh~~
now only realized it=)
those things were so special and beautiful till i don't feel to throw it away.
hmm..but at last,
i've decided to throw it away=)
now those things already inside the rubbish bin.hehe=)
today mood very nice leh~~
can laugh alone=) haha!
have mood to study also=) good=)
after blogging,wanna continue study=)
i miss all of them lo..hmm..faster come back ler~~

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Saw Them,Remember you=)

I saw them.
And will always see them.
And also the other them.
Sometime she'll share with me about them also.
At the same time,
make me think of you.
I can't lie
that i miss you much.
The heart are so hard to understand.
can't even figure out what's on my mind.
wish that we never meet before.
Because our story just end with a 'bye'
after all the moments we had
From the 'hello friend' to 'hi my honey'
from 'i worry about you' to'i love you with all my heart'
never think that the feelings just changed after just a while.
Still have alot of things we should do together.
Still remember when you told me that you wish to marry me=)
still young~~
that's my answer.
funny whenever think about it.
But sweet at that moments.
But at last we still have to leave it
but i'm happy now.
even though still miss you when i see them them and them.
is okay.gotta be strong=)

Sunday, October 25, 2009


Happy birthday dad.
And i just want you to know that i really love you so much.
The surprise party for you had been canceled due to some reason.
But we plan to have one for you,together with mom`s birthday celebration.
Suddenly miss my family so much.
After sent a birthday wish to you,
the tears suddenly drop uncontrollable.
I miss you.
Sad when mom told me that sis fall sick.
I don't go back this weekend.
And nobody take care of her at home now.
cuz mom and dad have to somewhere.
I'm not a good daughter.i know.
Mom and dad worked so hard to send me study here.
and i promised to study hard.
but see what i've done??
get a bad result for them.
I've broke the promises that i've said.
Always ask for more.
buy this and that..take everything for granted.
and whatever i want,you always try to get it.
But this bad daughter always not appreciate it well.
i'm sorry.
But one thing i want you all to know that i really love you all so much.
i can't live without you all.
Really sorry for all the mistakes i've done.
Sorry for not being a good daughter of you both.
i miss you all.Love.
sis,take your med and drink more water.
miss you.

Pill or yoga??

pill or yoga??
erm..pill,will get the result faster.
yoga not so soon.
but still,
yoga..i've chosen.
Thanks to all of them.Stop me to take those pill.
Thanks for the scary stories that make me scare to eat it.
Thanks for the support ya!
Starting next week,i'll attend yoga class.
every thursday.And the fees not so expensive as the first centre i went.
Anyone wanna join me?? DPR Y1,thursday we are free what,
anyone interested to join??i need to get few more people leh~~


My day for today just over like this.
Sleep at 4am and woke up at 3pm just now.
such a waste!!
went clubbing last night.Boring~~
because not with gang.
I can even sms there while all the people are dancing and drinking.
On the way back here,road block!
luckily nothing and styler are free.
after settled the dirty clothes and tidy my room.
Fallen asleep again after reading the novel i just bought.
Already night lo.
Went dinner.=) nice topic to chat.haha!
funny~~really sha.
hmm..and i don't know why i feel to get to know you more.
happy that you willing to share your things to me=)
She and she and he always ask funny funny questions.
and he and he always make fun about it also!
That sometime i lazy to answer all of them,
and of course i don't want to think too much also.
haha! i'm happy with it now.
and don't have any yet=p it's better
you make me to feel you and understand you more.
And i really hope i can do it.=)
no matter what,i'll support you as strong as i can=)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Still Same=(

Haiz...still the same.
no mood for classes also.
luckily styler just joked that she going to sleep.
haha! if not for the whole day i won't talk to people.
I know bad.
hmm..cannot tahan lo..but still have to carry on like normal.
but..mood ok abit after chat with him.hmm..
thanks alot!!
feel sorry to people around me.haha! really sorry laa..
no mood is like this de la..hope you all understand.
hmm..2 days didn't eat full full and eat well.
no appetite to eat also lo..
styler keep forching me to eat.if not she don't want to fetch me to coll wor.
actually last night dinner quite yummy leh~~
but i really get very sensitive after you said it lo..
hmm..sometime i just pretend don't listen but i actually keep it inside.haiz..
esp after cui cui said that..hmm..
your words really had made the changes.You're totally changed all my minds.
Don't know should blame you or thanks you tim

Monday, October 19, 2009

what i suppose to do?

What i'm suppose to do?
i'm fat,i know.
lee mee always said that.
cui cui too sometime.even dai keong agree.
hmm..i know i know.
Should i take the pill?
but no one care about me anyway.
but mom will hurt if anything happen to me.
izit safe to take those pill??
but i just can't stand to listen what they said.
whenever shopping with them,anything large is for me.
i know they are just joking around.
BUt,i do feel that what they said is the truth.
they're right.
myself know.
normally i will just ignore whatever they said.
cuz they always jokes around with me.
but don't know why feel tired today.
Just now i was so thinking about the transport to go to bank pay the fees.
How good if i got my own that i can go here and there freely.
no mood for jokes today.
i really cannot tahan them just now.maybe because of i got alot of problem in my mind.
and no one could understand.
huhhhh.....feel like dying.
i hate myself!!! ugly and fat!!!!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Slowly it will be FUN=P

i found that i slowly enjoy the classes i'm having now.
Even though no longer same class with them.
but most of the time,our class will be at same time,
so still go coll by styler's car..haha!
Hmm..drama also lo..
getting to know and understand more new friends..
soon will be busy with the assignments and presentation.
Will same group with ck them,and also will be with kenny them=)
i'm sure we'll enjoy it=p
Fun spending times together for this few days ya..
Watch movie together,yum cha,learn to settle the bills,have fun in the bank,haha!
gossiping..~~ lo..hehe=)
and not only us..
肯尼和大强 pun joining!
Especially when talk about the cow topic..huhh!
sot!! haha..but is long you all happy lo=p

Monday, October 12, 2009

A simple Life Worth Living

-Positive thinking!
-Not everything we wants we can get=p
-Not to take everything for granted.^^
-Others completely have,doesn't means you also need it.^^
-Lose the chance for today,is ok,still have tomorrow's chances.
-Fall down?oh come on,just stand up again=)
-Failed this time?aiya..what so big deal?work harder.
-Feel that you're stupid? least not stupid till do not know how to read!
-Don't know?Do not understand?blur?confuse?Just ask!!
-He's gone?nevermind,there are plenty of fish in the seas.
-You're not appreciated,well,you still have me=p
-Think that you're not pretty enough?at least your face won't scare the people.haha!
-The foods not nice,at least better than no food at all!
-No new shoes?never complain,at least you still have a pair of healthy legs.
-Nobody loves you,at least learn to love yourself=p
-Pocket empty is okay,but not to steal other's belongings.
-Enjoy the life before you leave the world=)
-Change all the hatres to loves=)
-You're fat? that you're healthy.haha!
-Don't speak perfect english?but at least you still can talk your way through.=p
-You're not in the centre of attention,people thinks that you're not a good friend,at least you're blessed with the nicest family=p
~Laugh more,be strong to face the difficulties.

Friday, October 09, 2009

lee mee ting=)

Lee mee ting + Ting lee mee =你咩?
Never stop laughing if she are around.
funny and nice friend.
Very helpful and responsible.
hmm..i really understand your sadness,lee mee.
about your Ex leaving you.hmm..i Really understand.
and i'm so glad and happy that you willing to share with me your sadness.
Happy to talk with you that really make me feel better also.
Thanks.I love you so much!
i really happy to know you all.Till we become so close with each other.
No fake feeling between us.everything we do honestly.
and actually i know you love me de..
haha..admit it laa..
you're the one care me so much especially when clubbing last time.
haha..i know de.Thanks for your concern ya.
hehe=p and i never feel hurt you always call me fei po geh.
haha..cuz i know i'm not.kaka..
love you.

Cui Cui..=p

My future hsemate=)
funny,nice and blur.
haha..really blur that sometime feel wanna choke her.
but fun to be with her=p
but pity she always feel suffer with f** y**..
haiz..make all of us hate him so much now!
Cui cui..Cui Sian i prefer to call her actually.
haha..can say we will share everything together.
hmm..Thanks for help me and listen to my problem.
Eventhough most of time is i listening to you.
i'm happy to help you.And i just want to tell you that i'll always there for you.
I'll try to help as much as i can=p
Fun to shopping with you=p
Cuz maybe our taste almost the same.haha!
happy to know you.=p
love you always.
Tang cui sian..haha!
Don't always think of
肯尼 ok?haha..
funny~~ you und i
Nvm long you happy..hahaha!

Styler Chai=)

Styler chai=)
Kind and friendly=p hehe..
She loves green soo much!!
hmm..i feel glad to know her.She really nice and funny.
Happy whenever talk to her and we have soo many plan to do together.
Thanks her for always drive us to everywhere.
To college,tesco,and sometime ipoh..
feel touch sometime you willing to help me..send me to here and there.
Help me to do this and that.
I found you really helpful.
Last tuesday,i know actually you quite tired.
But you still willing to drive me to the kindergarten.
and sent cui cui to her grandmom's hse..
and rush for lunch,sent davide back to college.
sent me to tesco to buy the thing,rush to the post office to buy the hasil stem.
And the day heavy rain you purposely came to college to fetch us.
and sent CK and the friend to oldtown for the emergency.
hmm..thanks alot styler!
fun to be with you.
And i want you to know that,we close with you,not because you have car.
Is because we really appreciate you as a friend.
We are so sad that you wanna stop studying.hmm..
I love you lo..we love you..haha!!
Thanks again!!=p
enjoy the times we all spent together.
Dinner,party,celebration,clubbing,shopping,yum cha..hahaha

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Change Your Mind Pls

Just now cui cui told me that maybe she'll change to drama.
i'm happy=p
I know we may be too late and could not make a right decision.
But that's our right.
I don't understand why one of my coursemate just now suddenly scolded me.
I'm not give him trouble anyway.
Hmm..assignments..presentations..and discussions going to start soon.
This time,will be in the same group with kenny them.
hmm..he wants me to join the group.
Eventhough i know maybe hard for me cuz.....
but nvm la..i believe i can make them cooperate well with me=p
just now also yum cha with him ady..we are friend now..
and also..styler and the group will join my discussion together=)
good la..still can work together.
This time we really will try hard and work hard.
We know the feel of the ''regret''..
we will start do the revision everyday once the books complete in our hand.
moreover i'm going to move to cui cui there..
so i think more easier for us to study together.
This time,i won't make you all down la.
I promise.
I know the feel already.hmm!
Not in the good mood today.
quite alot of things playing in my mind.
about this,and also that.haiz..
But i believe i can handle it and doing good so far.
hopefully will be carry on=p
Dear cui cui..please change ya! i believe you can!! and don't worry anymore..
i'll help you as long i can=p

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Kl plan failed again~~~

failed again!!
hmm..due to many many many reasons..
sad lo~~
i just scare the book out of stock!! shit!!
i want the book!!!!

Whole Day With Them

We spent the whole day together for today=)
happy! fun!
How sad whenever think about separated class with them.
Hmm..but nvm ler..i just follow my heart,
my choice is..
DRAMA! hehe=p
i believe we still will spend times together=)
just like today!
just now i went to the kindergarten for interview.
hmm..interviewer is My mom's friend,mrs lee..
so excited!!!=p
then 'accident'..haha! my leg and styler's car..
nasib baik i'm ok! haha..if not cacat lo..=p
then went for lunch..went to post office..
and lastly tesco..
Thanks styler!!
you're so kind=p really have to belanja you yum cha! hehe=p
and no need feel sorry for my leg.kaka!
Really tired..for the whole day..settle this and that.
Rush for the ptptn,hse rent,buy this and that.
fun at tesco just now..haha..we tried the 'baju' hahahaha!!
ate ice-cream! yummy..i belanja them! wakaka..
fun to chat..take photos..laughed..
but soo bad ya,everything large is for me!! i know i'm fat laa...
but fun! i love you all.. just back from dinner with them..
tired..tomorrow have to go classes again.
Scare will be lonely without them! haiz. hate!!

That's my choice

Today starts the classes already.
But no teaching yet.
i went to chinese class too just now.
followed cui cui,styler and lee mee.
so funny when the time lecturer count the amount of students!
anyway,i just want to try.
but..damn boring..although easier,abit laa.
hmm..cui cui keep asking me to choose chinese.
Yes,i have confident to score it.and i really don't wish to seperate with you all.
But i don't think i should change my mind cuz it's all for my own future right?
nvm..i believe we will still close although seperated class.
hmm..and i believe i can do my very best.
And eventhough i'm worried about the group assignments..discussion..or whatever..
but..i'm sure i can handle it=p
Hmm..i love them much!
sorry..but i also hope that you all choose drama,yet,i can't force you all.
So same like now,you all can't force me.
god~~please help me to make a right decision.
If i still want to change,yes..i still have the chance.
Drama or chinese?
ohh please!
why suddenly these fan nao comes?
i thought it's all settled.
i enjoyed being same class with them! but..
drama may be fun! but tough when in the year 2.
but if drama will be boring without them too! oh no!!!!
drama or chinese??
anyone can help me??

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Aku RinDu Mereka!!!

Aku rindu mereka!!
Tomorrow start the hectic college life again..
2 weeks seems not enough for me,for us to rest!
Aku start rindu my mom,dad,sis and bro.
And also my anjing anjing.
But pada masa yang sama,
gembira meet my dear friends....
and kami got many many plans to do bersama!!
i love them!!

Start it,end it = You

It's really over.
And i feel much better now.
I no longer down.
No longer drop the tears.
I'm totally happy with my life now=p
Totally free.
hehe=) start it,and you are the one end it too.
As long as you happy k?
i'm not going to regret anything,anyway.
thanks for everything.
And you'll forever gone in my mind and heart.
Really can.
I'm happy that you let me go.
Thanks for set me free.

Sunday, September 27, 2009


I.L.Y= i love you!
i love you i love you:p
But i don't know why my sis don't like me to love you.
but is ok..i still will love you ya!
boring life here~~
wanna go back kampar,
my sis ask me

Saturday, September 26, 2009


When he jatuh sakit,
i feel sedih.
I love him.
Aku sayang pada dia!
Love him soo much!
The 'him' is my anjing.
Fatty Figo.
Hari ini Figo telah jatuh sakit.
He just sleeping there.
Even when Queenie and Crystal main main there,
dia tetap sleep.
And queenie lari lari in front of him tadi,
hampir step on him.haha!
bila aku call him,he just open his mata then continue close his mata again.
When the other two barking,
he don't care too.

Kesian him..:(

Friday, September 25, 2009

Reach for the sky=)

I always want to try something=p
But sometime the 'something' really hard to achive..hehe=)
''reach for the sky''!!
haha! i wish to touch the sky!
but i know it's impossible=p
hmmm...but...impossible=i'm possible:)
eventhough not really 'touch' it,but..still feel very very happy! haha=)
Crazy right??hehe=p Nothing is impossible actually..
if you think you can,sure you can do it=p

i miss you..:)

Thursday, September 24, 2009

I'm getting fat=(

I'm getting fat,i know.=(
there're always good and bad for staying at ipoh home.
my home will never no foods.
Mom love to cook.And always tries new recipies..
hmm..make me feel to eat eat and eat!! lol.
I've put on weighed this time.
but she happy.haha!
Really couldn't control.
The table always serve delicous foods.
Cannot tahan the cakes,cookies and also chocolates that are prepared by mom.
now i understand why sis soo chubby,never change! haha..
wanna faster over this holidays,
then start to gan fei dy!
Really have to!
Will save up money to buy the body-shaping gel.
haiz..very expensive leh..
But i will buy it=)
Start to jog,swim and do any exercise laa..
control eating! SURE!
Will eat,but in the small quantity=p
If can manage the time well,
i'll attend the yoga class.=)
money again..haiz...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


Happy:) had a party with them last sunday..hehe=p
Very happy to meet fiona,kerlee,anne,sabrina,tian,mimi,and pei pei=p
so ke xi..nicole,lulu,hao hao and few more not free to join=( hmm..
So long never meet long never gather with them.
REally miss them soo much!
Some of my college's friend joined too=)
Styler,cui cui,wicky and also benjamin.
Davide don't join,cuz have plan with his friends dy.
Actually jimmy and david joining too..
but have appoinment.hmm..nvm~~
lee mee and new friend too far=(
so next time ba!
happy la..haha! hope next time can gather again=p
and hope more ppl will join..

I love them! love them! love them!
miss them soo much!
haiz..wanna meet them err..=(

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

It's all because of you.

It's all because of you!
i hate you sooo much!!
i never put any revenge toward anyone.
i never put any unhappiness or angriness feeling toward anyone for too long.
but this time was diffirent.
You're just like the fire that are burning the happiness of my family.
i'm sorry to say,i no longer respect you as my family member .
Because of you,my relationship with my dad now not as good as last time.
Not really close as last time.
It's all because of you!!
you spoilt everything! that makes me hate you soo much now!
actually good also this holiday you not coming.haha!
cuz i don't really want to see your face. dad always want to see you.
they've been waiting for you till today! cuz you promised to come right?
huhh! so if you want to come,don't stay for too long.i sick to see you!
you know what,if you don't come,later dad will say i'm the one make you don't feel to you better turn up! and i won't be at home that time!haha..
i've regretted stayed at your home for few months last time.
i don't really want to owe you anything! even 1 cent!
and i don't understand why you make up stories told my dad something that i never done!
this called ''family'' huh?
and of cuz dad trust you more than me! also dislike your own daughter,how come i wish you to like me,right?
what's wrong with you?huh?
you're mad!!crazy!!
no wonder your own daughter hate you soo much!! me as well ya!
Remember,you're no longer my family,no longer my uncle,you won't ever in my heart..anymore.
i love my dad.we are close last time.
YOU!!!ITS YOU!!! burned everything!!! you know that?????
i hate you!!!
trust me,when your daughter grown up,she will just do her own stuff..
she will just ignore you!!!
how cruel you are now,you just never see it.never realise it.
You're rich,you have a very big hse..but...i still feel that you're suppose to live in 'victoria home'..or...'hospital bahagia' or 'tanjung rambutan' laa..haha.
i'm sorry to said it.
but the pain and hurt i suffering for now,no one understand.And i'm sure he already cheered for it.

Monday, September 21, 2009

my days with THEM=P

I love to be with them.They always brighten my days.=p hehe=)We can study together.and...everythings together!! enjoy the moment we spent.hehe=p!!! you all are crazy friends that i ever have.haha!!And still remember that night! the worst dinner that i ever had.kaka..that's is...






The ""LUI CHA""..haha..(styler,really ''niceeeeeee''..ahem..hahaha..)

Really nice hor cui cui??kaka..soo's took our almost an hour to finished it.

but at the end we just throw it away.cuz..really cannot in laa..hehe=p

KFC together too!! fun! wai keong joined us too=p hmm..~~ really fun to be with them.

we just....friend!!!! everything we will do together.hmm..just..happy...enjoy with them.haha!

yummy..share money+eat puas puas!!

lee mee and me=p swwet right?haha..i love her.and i know she love me too.

eventhough she always 'scold' me..'say' me..and sometime 'critic' me..haha..but she's a nice good friend!! and funny too..

we`re really close..and they`re really good friend.=p hmm...i love them!!sooo much!!

Sunday, September 20, 2009


it's time for me to relax.
just for two weeks by the way!
relax to the life in kampar.
everything 'free' now..especially my meals..haha!
whatever i want to much to eat..
everything not take out from my pocket's money.hehehe..=p
good ya.
But still worrying about the result.
Last few nights mom asked about my exam.
haih..i've told her everything.And i did told her that IF i failed few papers,
MAYBE i'll stop studying ler..
don't know whether it is the right choice or not.
and not sure is i'm too stupid to follow my studies or what.
Why last time everything seems so easy for me?
and i can do quite well if i hardworking last time.
but now?even i tried my best,still cannot @.@
DEar god.please help me..=)
don't want think about it first!
tonight going to meet my big family!!!
they coming to my hse=p
and also my dearest friends..
tian,mimi,fiona,sab,anne.kerlee,lulu..............many more.
But too bad,nicole not joining.haih.but is ok..thursday going out to catch some movie with her!
and......cui cui they all coming too!hehe=p
and......hope 'you' come too..hehe=) miss 'you' sooo much!!
will take some picture later.
will post it on my great blog.
will share the joys with dear readers/viewer ya.
but some of the 'dangerous+stupid viewers''re not welcome.
you know who you are ya?hehe=)
i know i'm
but 'they' worst.
Don't worry,the person i mean not from ktar or utar..hehe=)
she is from my previous sch last time.=p
I don't like she keep up with my blog.
cuz..she's not a nice human being.kaka!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The Tough Road

Life,full of stories.
Some are happy,some are sad and some of them fall somewhere in between.
Sometime the journey of the road are straight,but sometime not.
even worse when you have to face all kind of difficulties.
just like the weather.
Sometime sunny,sometime rainny,and if you're lucky rainbow will cheer you up,
when you're no luck,thunder will accompany you.
along these road,we will be meeting many kind of people.
Nice,bad,weird,selfish and many more.
And also we will meet with success and failure.
It is stage-by-stage,
And every new stage,
Everything seem to be new and challenging,
without God's strength,we won't be able to overcome it.
I hate failure.Everyones does.
But what's important is that we understand that it's are for our learning.
We usually look at our actions as good or bad,right or wrong.
When we feel frustrated,we will start blaming ourselves.
thinking that we are useless.
But if we can adjust our thinking and look at our stories as tools for our growth,
then we may be grateful for all the things that we have to go through.
If we can remember to love ourselves and have compassion for our mistakes that we had done,
then we may live with more gratitude and joy.
hmm..want or don't want.
We have to learn how to deal with happiness,heartbreak,and most of the time with life's difficulties and challenges.
Im ok for now.Have to be ok.haha!
Thanks for your comfort and care.
The most important is to remember this,
hehe=) know what it is?
used to it even you are facing hard times.
That's a secret way to success=)

Let Me Go

I'm so sad.
and nothing can make me feel better.
i laugh,i smile,i being crazy just like normal.
but the pain in my heart no one know.
i miss you so much.
i need you to be with me right now.
my heart feel so pain.
but you never know.never care.
i can't stop my mind to think about you.
why i'm so stupid?really dumb..really useless.
i hate myself.really hate myself!!!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

broke the promisE..haHa!

finished exam!
ya..of cuz happy..
but there are something make me sad too=(
guys..thanks for accompany me during the happy and hard times.
can't deny that i really sad when you all(styler,cui cui and lee mee)choose chinese for the next sem.
which means we won't be in the same class dy.
but i know and understand that i can't do anything to stop you all.=)
anyway,i believe that it won't effect our friendship.
we can still have meals together.
still can do homeworks together.
still can stay awake for the whole night to study together,right?haha!
and the most important..
we can still enjoy our days together.hehe=)
still can ghany-ing,voodoo-ing,party-ing too of cuz!
last night,thanks so much!
thanks for the fun time!haha..
but..u all make me broke the 'promise' lol
from just apple juice..but at the end get drunk also.
Thanks for send me home safely.hahaha..
and thanks for the comfort.=)
i really cannot tahan last night.really feel so sad.
and i feel better after i cried.BUt paiseh front of kenny,kathik and wai keong.haha!
and also new
thanks anyway.i really enjoy spending time with you guys.=p
and actually kenny and kathik not bad de..sorry for 'anti' you both last time.haha sem we will be in same class again.add oil together ya!!
eventhough now i still feel very sad.but whenever think of you all..
hehe..feel much better=) i love you guys.
and cui cui,don't worry..i will move to your hse and be your dearest roommate!
i promise not to let your notty hsemate bully you again k?and including fei yeh!
don't sad still have me=)
你不要看我笨笨,其实我很利害的。。你不要看我weak weak其实我strong strong的。。哈哈..( familiar right this sentence?haha)
so don't sad anymore k?

Monday, September 14, 2009


i'm failed.
really useless.
sorry dad,mom..
i'm so sorry.
really sorry.
very sorry.
i've tried to do it.
but can't.
i'm sorry.
i've dissapoint you both.
sorry..i've broke my promise.
i'm sorry.
i'm useless,i know.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

What Should I Do??=(

What should i do?
i feel lost.i feel bad about myself at the same time.
i'm not sure what am i doing now.
i'm sorry.
i just don't know myself.
i'm not real me.
sorry dear.
How can i treat you like this.
i'm sorry.really sorry.
but this kind of thing comes and goes.
and you hardly to avoid it.
i'm suffer too at the same time.
you're never alone.
you still have me.
eventhough not with my full heart.
who to blame now?
if last time we never have problem,
then now won't be so complicated like this,right?
i'm so sorry.
i just don't know what should i do.
i don't want to hurt you.
but i don't want to make you suffer also.
it's so unfair to you.
i know.
i really no intention to hurt you.
i understand why you treat me so cool now.
is my fault.i know.i'm so sorry.

Friday, September 11, 2009


left only one more paper to go.
MEM paper,the paper i really to score.
cuz i know my mc sure have to resit.
so i really hope i can score MEM and the rest of the paper.
at least mom and dad won't be so angry.
just back from IT paper.
hmm..ok ok lo..
have confident to pass.
i'm looking forward to the plans..
sure fun.
hmm..but maybe the trip tpo genting..i'll forget about it.
due to some reason.
eventhough i really wish to go with them.
of cuz not because of him.but i just want to spend more time with them.
but is long you happy=)
i found some methods and useful ways to study..
so next sem i'll follow the ways.
and i'll work extra hard for it.
hmm!really i will.