Thursday, December 31, 2009


Terrible for this few days.
not only with my days.
also with him.
dont know what is wrong.
just feel something is so wrong.
i never mean anything to make you down.
but i just done it.
so sorry.
seeking an apologize from you.
everything is my fault.
im bad.useless too.
so sorry.
Really speechless when come to arguement.
because i dont wish it to happen.
keep trying to control the anger,but i just failed to do it.
at the end,just make all the misunderstanding become worse.
if only i could just stand of all these crap moment,
then i think nothing will happen.
no hurt feeling,no tears dropping.
im sorry.
its all my fault.
even though i cant figure it out,
but i know it is all mine.
im the one who create the problem.
im the one who start first.
im the one who couldnt control it.
im the one do not know how to give in.
*thats my bad,i know*

Tuesday, December 29, 2009


Happy birthday to my beloved sister!
love her much!
celebrate her birthday at mcd just now.
boring for me.
Lol long she is happy:)
hmm..i saw her msg just now.
from dad.
dad wish her don't know how many times already.
since last night,and even until now.
what the...
i'm not receiving any from him last july.
but the msg makes me to drop my tears.
"hello my dearest,happy birthday to a good girl.we love you.can't live without your you soo much!"
sweet huh?
why can't i just get the same?
lol.*think too much*
am i really that annoying to him?
don't even say a word even few weeks i don't go back.
feel like a statue with heartbeats.
so that's one of the reason why i prefer not to go back ipoh every weeks.
till when have to be like this??
the happiness i had before can't get it back?
and the hate feeling toward the uncle are become stronger and stronger.
all the happiness of my family had been burned by him!!
i'll wait for the moment i get back my family.
i do hope my dad can still walks me go through the church during my wedding.
yes. he will do that.
so,right now,
i don't have to feel any jealous toward my bro and sis.
i don't have to feel any sad of that.
because at least,
i do still have a dad.
a great dad that i ever have:)

Sunday, December 27, 2009

What a waste day..>.<

just over like that.
how sad.
Woke up at 11am.
shower my doggies
settled everything,
my lunch is ready.
prepared by mom.
miss her cook!!
plan to go parade with sis,
had been canceled at last due to some reason.
wish to go saloon.
but appointment fulled.
tomorrow closed.
have to wait next week only can cut lo.
hmm..miss darling so much!
last night sis scolded me,
because i hugged her as how i hugs you.
today of mine almost end just like that.
what a waste huh?
what is darling doing right now?

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Missing you^^

Miss darling so much ^^
i'm at ipoh now.
happy to meet my family.
but pity darling alone.
miss him much!
wanna go back kampar as soon as possible!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Give Me A Rest:)

What's wrong for these few days?
keep on arguing about something that not worth to.
don't understand why keep on with it.
but all this mess pissed me off.
i'm sorry about the past.
but i told you is because i don't want to hide anything from you.
but why just a simple thing you keep in your heart?
till each word comes out from my mouth makes you angry of me??
i don't wish it to happen also.
but it's just..happened!
i tried to control not to mind anything.
but i just can't.
i tried to be the best for you.
but seems like no chance to do so.
i canceled all the plans with them.
till they are so unhappy with me.
just only with one reason.
i just wanna be with you.
but then,i beg you please don't treat me so cool.
even some just a little simple thing that you say,
make me feel fall into the deep hole.
make my tears to roll down
and i want you to know that i really suffer to continue be like this.
izit true what people always says..
everyday meet,spend each second together,will make the heart bored of each other??
i'm doubting.
sorry if i'm not the best for you.
but i already tried to give you whatever you wish.
i listen for every single thing you hope.
even sometime i don't wish to do so.
but then,
once again,
i do all these only with a reason and nothing can replace it.
is because ''i love you''

Friday, December 18, 2009

Happy Birthday,Darling^^

Today is my darling's birthday.
A surprise party we gave him=)
Right after me and him settle our problem.
Thanks to all the friends..
Gary,pui pui,issac,yy,ling shiao,wai keong,christine and kitty.:)
Thanks for the celebration for him.
Fun just now cycling to westlake.
but pity darling have to carry me for whole long journey.
happy because i can see him smile.
*he just being emo since morning*
deep sigh~~
today is the worst day i ever had with him.
we argued.*not to say really argue*
hmm..just no mood for each other.
I'm sad that i can't even comfort him as how i wish to.
gald that he's ok now=)
happy birthday darling^^
wishing you to have a good health and stay happy.
and hope you'll like the gift that i'm going to give you:)

I love you:)

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Something went Wrong.

Something went so wrong.
no mood for everything!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Doesn't suck but still suck:)

People's mind are hard to read.
don't even say to steal the heart.
many kind of people we'll see as we see through the whole wide world.
that's sometime can be scary.
but of cause nice if meet with those can touches the heart:)
time changes,people too.
someone that you're so close to,
can even be the most dangerous one.
scary huh?
can anyone manage to deal with all this crap?
really terrible if you get into it.
*deep sigh*
don't wanna see your best friend fall into the deep hole,
i'm sure.
but nothing you can do about.right?
for those who just meet with one or two.
advice given to you:)
much more people you're going to interact with,in the future.
which is many many kind of species more.
not saying you're good in everything.
no one is perfect.but at least you try to be better.
do not point to others' attitude.
look up at yourself.
Are you well care of your own self?
that's funny when the mirror answer you
:'' ohh..haha! you're suck! ''
Doesn't suck so much,
but still suck!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Facing Failure

Right now.
feel more depressed and frustrated.
Am i doing the right thing?
Is this the best choice for me?
lost in direction.
losing in the war.
*deep sigh*
Am i just wasting of time? *so much time to waste huh?*
wasting money is my expert.
*how bad*
Really useless i am.
The brain seems still empty even though the 2nd sem almost reaches the end.
Feel sad,can't even help darling.
Worrying for his presentation for tomorrow.
the rest of them are not there to do the work together.
the best way to connect with them is to on msn.
*how hard*
I just wanna be the best for him.
Stay with him all the moments.
but i'm just too useless to be so.
feel more down when can't give any comfort to him.
do not have any courage to open up my mouth.
*Sometime a word can kill a person.*
better keep quiet unless when are needed.
sorry for being so troublesome.
i know is my bad.
is this the right direction for me,
i'm still wondering.
maybe after i put extra effort,
then only i can found the answer.
*god,please help me.*
*make him strong and guide him along the journey*
Bless me as well:):):)

lalala! :)

nothing special to blog about actually.
but my hand just feel itchy to click the blog address.
went to watch movie yesterday.
with keong daddy,pui pui,kitty and darling.
the show was quite boring but yet fun!
after movie,went yum cha with kenny and sue zhen and some of the new friends.
on the way back to kampar,
something had happened in the car.
3 of us shouted and make darling and keong daddy get shocked.
lepak at westlake after that.
till my eyes can't open freshly.
went ghany later on.
walao..don't really wish.
but what to do??
back home with darling,
fall onto the bad and ZzZzzzz..
don't care don't care.
damn tired.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Plan foR cHristmaS :)

so fast almost end 2009.
Christmas arriving in two more weeks.
As usual,
many plan comes to me too!
Having plan with the self-loving.
and also going to have gathering with the prefects team.
maybe have some plan with family as well:)
the most exciting is..
the plan with them.
We're planing to visit cameron highland=)
i'm sure the trip will be fun..hehe:)
Gonna overnight there.
so have to start saving money from now onward.
hope the gang will join.To all of them:)
First celebration going to have with darling.
he's birthday coming.
First birthday celebration we going to have together:)
how sweet ^^

love him much!

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

My Feeling:)

I don't even have any idea what to blog about.
I'm happy spending my days with my darling.
i love him much.
and i know he love me too=)
he's staying with me now.
most of time,we will be together.
sometime,i wonder whether he'll feel bored of me or not.
*hope he won't*
he always ask me why i love him.
the reason..
is..because he treat me so so so nice.
because he can accept who i am.
be with me every moment.
make me feel this tough life doesn't suck so much actually.
darling,i love you.
and i promise i'll be the best for you ya:)
I don't really care what other might think,
might feel,might say..
as long we can be together k?
i always wonder whether i can make you happy or not.
till sometime i feel very sorry to you.
still remember that evening i was crying for making you down.
but yet,glad that you still hug me and comfort me:)
and i promise that i WON'T ever leave you,ok?
hope you'll too.
happy happy happy=)
just now we went cycling around westlake!
hahaa..although you and ling shiao keep making me feel like wanna fall down:(
but still happy=)
i love you darling:)
stay happy.
thanks for your love and care toward me=)
but if you naughty,or bully me.
I'll chase you back your home.

Sunday, December 06, 2009


I'm gone mad.
Cuz i fall in love with you:)
happy to spend time with you almost every sec,min and hour.
You make me feel that i'm the happiest and luckiest person in this whole wide world=)
i've owe so much from you.
Thanks foe the care and love that you've give me=)
appreciate it much:)
i promise i'll good care of you.
And won't leave you as how you promised me too=)
Really love you so much!
thank to god for sending you to me=)

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

undescribeable happiness:)

How can i describe the happiness i'm having now?
To be with you=)
i really love you so much,
do you know that?
Thanks for trying to understand me,
respect me and love me=)
I appreciate every moments we spend together=)
My dear,
I love you.
Fun to be with always make me laugh.
Thanks for all the accompanies.
I'm so happy to know you.
From nothing,now there're something between us ^^
thanks for the cares.
Thanks for the comfort you gave last night when i'm thinking of bunny.
sorry for always make you worry about me.
Thanks for take care of me when i'm sick.
Thanks for support me to face all kind of difficulties.
Thanks for the comfort when i feel the world are turning upside down.
Dear,happy to be with you.
I feel so comfort when you hug me.
Thanks for the kisses too.
Sorry for disturb your sleep.
I know whenever i move,
you'll awake and you'll ask me am i ok.
hmm..but feel so close with you.
The small bed can make us so close to each other!
Undescribeable happiness i'm having now.
Glad that you said you'll never leave me,only i can leave you. you think i'll leave you?
you already touched my heart and even my soal.
And don't say sorry to me for not making me happy,
saying sorry for not bringing me to have fun,enjoy.
saying sorry for not taking care me well.
that's enough just to be with you:)
I'm truly feel happy with it=)
trust me.
there're plenty of time for us.
Don't worry.
I'll love you.
no matter how,no matter what=)

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Feeling of Lost

Right now,
i understand the feeling if losing something that you really love.
I'm facing the crap feeling.
Right Now!
My baby bunny left me last night.
30 of november 2009.
Not sure what the time,
but after i came back from dinner,
as usual,they'll jump here and there to welcome my return.
but i was shocked to see that only brownie jumping for me.
Not baby bunny.
i don't even figure out the reason he died.
Evening i just played with them.
and baby bunny normally scare of me,yesterday became so close to me.
when called to come,he'll come slowly and i easily to catch him too!
Baby bunny,sorry for not take good care of you.
But i really love you so much.
i starts to love you once i bought you home.
I promised myself to take good care of you both.
Now,i feel scare whenever i walk in my room.
I scare i'll see brownie sleeping,not jumping to welcome me home.
he was so lonely now,i know.
and i'm worrying that he'll leave me coz the ppl told me that,
if one died,another one will die too.
Baby bunny,
you're still a baby.
I haven't raise you up.
I still want to bathe you.feed with you.bring you home.
i was so upset that you've left me.
no one can understand.Because only me,myself can feel the lost:(
But thanks for the visit last night=)
Styler,davide,ck,gary,ling shiau,dai keong,pui pui.
and special thanks to kitty.
thanks for the comfort and the 'death board' ya=)
i'm sure bunny will love it much.
b-yian,qi xiang and betty.
thanks for the comfort.=)
Guys,thanks for helping me to bury him.
i appreciate your help.
Thanks for make my tears stop too=)
i love you all:)
baby bunny,i'll miss you.You'll stay in my heart forever.
i Love you.