heal the pains.

Had so much fun just now-the BBQ. It’s a suddenly decision that timmy and I made. We rushed to tesco yesterday and I marinade the chicken wings and the lamb by timmy at night:) went to tesco again just now with darling to find tembikai but unfortunately don’t have. Went to oldtown with styler to find it and get some other things that are needed. Even though the rain falling non stop but our plan still on.And thanks god we still can manage it successfully. Special thanks to darling and styler for fetching and sending to here and there:) Pui pui,davide,Helen,timmy,issac and hong weng for helping. Aww! I’ve started to miss you guys=p Lol enjoyed the moments we had spent together ya. The photo-taking session. Makan session and being crazy with issac:) Hahahaha. The moment of drinking ice lemon tea with dear pui pui is fun!! Lol and how sweet we are. The cleaning session is fun too! Play the water sambil cleaning.Wow. and and and the time we shower styler’s car.hehe.Hmmm..it remind me the time I had a BBQ with tian tian mimi and YOU=p Miss ya.

I’m so happy today.Even though feels so tired and my throat started to pain.Hmm.My darling already not feeling well. *get well soon sayangku. Lol Overall,it’s just fuuuuuuunnnn!! And looking forward to some other planning.But final coming, we need to study study study! Hmm.

Well,at least it can make me carefree.I don’t even remember every single thing that upset me.But deep inside my small and weak heart asking ‘why second problem always come find me once I settled the first problem?’ ‘why there’s no chance for me to rest,even awhile?’ and why?you never trust me?am I so bad in your eyes?hmm.So many whys.You know what?i’m tired.I don’t feel to fight with you because its useless.You already set in your mind that I’m bad,so I’ll forever bad! But fine.Liyana,you should be happy today! Ya! I’m happy:) Guys,I love you all.Thanks for brighten up my life.Darling,thanks for loving me.I LOVE YOU.

the little fact that you got to accept.

Things that happening is all with a reason. Sometime I wonder why my parents want me to come here for study. If that time I reject the suggestion, then I think I won’t have him in my life. And I won’t get the happiness with them all. I won’t have chance to learn to overcome some problem. I won’t learn to stand up whenever the ball hits me down and I won’t learn how to deal with different people, situations and feelings. Thanks to God for given me this golden opportunity and chances.

Yes, in our life, there is always give and take. You won’t be perfect and not everything you want, you can get it. I tried my best to show them that I can, but unfortunately they simply can’t see it, I tried to forget about the past, but unfortunately the memories reluctant to go away. I tried to learn to love them and trust them that they had changed, but unfortunately they never change at all.

But one thing is, I really appreciate the things that I have now. Yea, I never deny that I always take things for granted. Always make a lot of complain about this and that. Asking for so many whys. But at the end of the day. I still feel very grateful and thankful to God, by saying, AT LEAST I’M BETTER THAN THEM. I still have my family that very supportive. I still have my babe that always loves me. I still have girlfriends that willing to spend their time with me. I still have many chances to prove that I’m not rubbish. I still have many ways to have a better life.

I started to love myself even more. I won’t care what they’ll think. Because want or don’t want. The facts, you got to accept!

G.

So long never update my blog. Yea, busy and lazy=p well, the event had end. Now only need to pay extra attention to the coming final. I’m worry about Law! It’s so hard for me. Lol Hmm. Anyway,I’ll still try my very best=)

Went to de garden with dar, styler and davide. Had fun and took some pictures for our assignment. Photos, will be upload soon.

Last night had a great time with 3 of them as I mentioned just now plus fei poh and monica. As usual, we yum cha and chat chat chat for the whole night. I’m happy. Feel sooo free like a bird. Haha. I’m finding a room to rent. Feel wanna move out from here since I feel like a stranger. But the other way of thinking, why should we move? This house we found leh. Sigh..let’s see how.

Last night after the dataran session, had an argument with him. I was so tired! And I prefer to keep quiet or else I’ll not be able to control myself. Going back this weekend. My bro as well. Ohya,he want me to buy him something,but so sorry.I’m pk now. I think I should puasa also. Save some moneyJ Lol

I’m so tired! Tired like hell!!!! I don’t wanna argue anymore!! Leave me alone. I need some time to decide what should I do and take as my last decision=(

Happy of the comments given regarding of our event. I know we had done a very good job. Thanks ms pushpha for the compliments, guidelines, supports and cares.

Listing Failed.

Failed to be a good,

• -daughter for my dad and mom
• -sister for fifah and boy.
• -girlfriend for him.
• -best friend for her.
• -friend for them.
• -student for lecturers.
• -listener for those who needs my ears.
• -helper for those who needs my hands.
• -communicator.
• -normal person.

I'm just failed! failed! failed! Failed to be everything!!!!
no matter how i tried,how i wished,how i do.The result is just the same,i'm suck!
If i can stop the time to run forward.How i wish not to come here.So that dad won't be like this,so that i won't have any relationship with him,so that i won't because of the relationship,lose friends.Dad don't have to waste money for me.Mom don't have to worry so much.Bro and sis don't have to miss me and hope for me to go back.And i,do not have to suffer like now.OMG.Stop crying okay! That's useless.

changed.

Everything is starts to change.Some change to better one,but some are not at all.Yea,quite busy with the event now,so not really have time to think about it:) today is very bad and emo day for me.Last night slept with an angry mode.And today woke up with angry too,since phone out of credit,no way to contact chee kok and he was busy til couldn't reply my messages! well,i don't think he'll know if i'm dying since the phone will not by his side most of the time.Is either no credit or no battery or in silence mode.
During the exhibition just now,i saw him.Someone that are really close to me-used to be.The most hurtful part is,i don't even have the courage to say hi to him,but the rest of them,had a great hi with him,even with photos.Who's to blame?Ya,i seems,we all seems carefree about it,but there's a big thorn in my small heart.I don't feel comfortable when we act like a stranger when meet each other.Be in the same roof,but don't even say a word to each other.
no one know that today i'm so emo.Even you.I smile,doesn't mean i'm okay.Alot of stuff is playing in my mind!!!!! so stop with your fuck actions.